I am afraid I may not be able to get pregnant again. I would like to have a child when I am more able to support the child. My partner doesn't want a baby, and I want to consider his feelings.
I had an abortion some time ago and I think I won't cope with another abortion. What are my goals, plans or dreams? What do I want out of life for myself? What do I think is important? In five years time I am planning to be ………… How would having a child now change these plans?
How would adopting the child out change these plans? How would having an abortion change these plans? What interests and activities do I feel are important to me?
If I was to parent would I have to give up any of my interests and activities? How would having a child affect my health and wellbeing? Would having a child change my educational plans? Do I have the energy to raise a child and further my education at the same time? Would having a child change my career plans? Do I have the energy to raise a child and continue to develop my career at the same time? Am I willing to give a great part of my life, at least 18 years, to being responsible for a child?
On the scale below, where would you say you are right now? Definitely want an abortionDefinitely continuing. Definitely want an abortionDefinitely want to parent. Definitely want to place my child for adoptionDefinitely want to parent. Do I need more information on any of these options? If I was to sum up my feelings and thoughts it would go like this The idea of having an abortion makes me feel ………………………… because ………………………… and I'm thinking………………………… The idea of continuing the pregnancy and placing the baby for adoption makes me feel ………………………… because ………………………… and I'm thinking ………………………… The idea of having a baby now and becoming a parent makes me feel ………………………… because ………………………… and I'm thinking ………………………… Now that you have looked at how you feel and what your thoughts are about this pregnancy, let's look at the other people in your life.
Significant others in your life Children: how will this affect my kids? The following questions may help you decide: Ideally when would I be ready to have another child? I only ever wanted one child. Am I open to considering having more than one? What are my feelings around having more than 1 child? More than three children? What age gap do I prefer for my child or children?
Can I cope with another child now? How do I deal with sleep deprivation, physical tiredness and emotional upheaval? Do I have the energy to raise another child? Who would support me if I have another child now? How would having another child now affect my growth and development? Would having another child change my educational or career plans? Could I handle another child considering my current workload? What about future children? Partner This section is for those women who want to include the man involved in the pregnancy in the decision-making process.
Does my partner want to have a child? Another child? Is our relationship a happy and strong one, which would give a child a good home? Could we share the work of looking after a child?
How well do we know each other — especially in relation to our views on parenting? Could we share our love with a child or with more than one child without being jealous?
How well do we currently communicate with each other and how may this be affected by having a child? If my partner says he will leave me if I have an abortion does that affect my decision? If my partner says he will leave me if I continue with the pregnancy does that affect my decision?
If my partner says he will leave me if I adopt the child out does that affect my decision? Decision making and violence For many women violence may start or become worse during pregnancy. Here are some questions it may be useful to ask yourself: He keeps changing his mind all the time about this pregnancy.
How can I hold on to what I want when he does this? Does he know I am pregnant? Is it safe to tell him? If he knows about the pregnancy, is it safe for me to make a choice about this pregnancy?
What might be the consequences for me and others if I do not do what he wishes? Will I be safe while I am pregnant? Will the violence effect the health of the pregnancy? I need to do what is best for me. If you know of anyone who has had an abortion, ask what their experience was like, and how they look back on it positively or negatively. Could I ask you a few questions about it? Talk to a counselor. Your doctor, family planning clinic, or community health agency may know of counseling services that can help you decide what to do.
Make sure the resources they give you are unbiased, nonjudgmental counseling services that do not attempt to push the woman toward one option or another. Do your research on any names or agencies you receive to make sure they are unbiased. Look for any affiliations that may seem questionable to you political or religious. Understand that any reputable agency or counselor will help you explore all your options without judgement or coercion.
If you feel pressured into making a particular decision, find someone else to talk to. Part 3. Make a timely decision. If you are considering abortion, you do need to make a decision as quickly as possible. While you want to be certain of your decision, also understand that the earlier in the pregnancy you decide to terminate it, the easier your procedure will likely be.
You will also have more options available. Make a list. If you are still unsure of what to do, you may wish to write a list of the pros and cons of terminating your pregnancy. Seeing your thoughts and feelings on paper may help you reach a decision more easily. Write down the positives and negatives, no matter how big or small they seem.
Compare your lists. You may want to weigh all three options parenting, abortion, or adoption or just two if you know you are not ready to be a parent, for example. Take the next steps. Once you have made your decision, take your next steps quickly. If you are choosing to continue with the pregnancy, you will still want to follow up for prenatal care as soon as possible.
If you decide to have an abortion, schedule it as soon as you can. Consider any financial needs you may have in order to pay for the abortion. If you are planning to continue the pregnancy, be sure that you are not smoking, drinking, or using drugs, eating well, and are taking a prenatal vitamin that includes folic acid -- a necessary nutrient for a developing fetus.
Determine your future birth control needs. Consider discussing your future birth control needs with your provider or at your family planning clinic at your next appointment. Research options online and speak to your doctor about options that may work best for you.
If you decide to have an abortion, you may be able to have an IUD intrauterine device inserted at the time of your abortion procedure. Check with your doctor about this option. While it prevents pregnancy, it does not protect against sexually transmitted infections. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Consider asking your doctor where you can receive a free ultrasound.
They may be able to give you one and if not they should be able to tell you where you can get one. You can also find charities that offer free ultrasounds on the web.
However, keep in mind that most charities that offer this service are driven by a pro-life mission and will be keen to get you to decide to maintain the pregnancy. Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0. If you are in a relationship with someone who does end up getting an abortion you'll want to do your best to support your girlfriend after an abortion.
Related wikiHows How to. How to. More References About This Article. Co-authored by:. Carrie Noriega, MD. Co-authors: Updated: May 6, Here are some important questions to ask yourself:. Although asking yourself these questions and considering these issues can be an important part of deciding what to do next, it is also important to talk to other people.
You might want to discuss the pregnancy with a trusted friend or with your partner. It is also a good idea to visit the private abortion clinic in London for advice.
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